[Perfect7]

Our match meeting was Friday. We didn't attend (we weren't invited) but our CW did with potential DS caseworker, adoption supervisor, and foster mother. Our CW called us afterwards and we were in shock. He's in a therapeutic foster home with several teenagers who have severe mental problems. FM said he scares her the worst, tho. She hides the knives and sharp objects and keeps video surveillance on the whole house. She and FD work full-time fostering and nothing else. They have to keep a constant eye on him. They denied a dx of rad, but said he makes daily threats (unspecified and none of which he follows thru on but possibly because of the close supervision). He's in a classroom with 8 kids and 3 teachers and he stabbed another child in the face with a pencil (unknown how long ago or the full circumstances). He's only treated for the ADHD and not the BP. My 7-yr-old has BP so it doesn't scare me a bit, but I know she got violent when they first diagnosed her with ADHD and gave her stimulants instead of a mood stabilizer. Our caseworker said we couldn't even go to the bathroom and take our eyes off him, lock his bedroom door at night (no sexual issues, just the threat of violence). After DH and I recovered (and yes, I cried quite a bit saturday) we quit feeling sorry for our loss and swung into action. We inquired about equine intensive therapy locally and told the owner (a friend) we needed her support. She gave it 100%. He can go there 5x a week for therapy if needed. Called all my friends locally (one who aged out of foster care) and they also agreed to help. We're self-employed and can be here whenever the kids are home from school. Our cw said he also feels no remorse for his actions and doesn't attribute his frequent moves (4 in 3.5 years) to his behavior. He hasn't attached but hasn't remained anywhere very long. They offered the positive in that he's very gifted and great at science and math, and obedient in doing chores at home. Are they trying to scare us into backing out, preparing us for the worst, or what? This isn't the same child I've been hearing about from his cw for the last 2.5 months. I strongly suspect RAD. Can these children ever be reached? How long does it usually take? Are we crazy for even considering it? We've requested full disclosure in writing to look things over more closely, but they haven't even decided that we can handle his issues. Sorry to long, but you ladies (and some gentlemen) have a wealth of info. Any suggestions as to where we go from here? Oh yea, he was also drug and alcohol exposed but tested negative for FAS this year. We've also already checked out door alarms/motion sensors and would have those in place for sure on his room (which he would have his own). No known sexual abuse or documented acting out sexually.