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I am an adoptive mother who adopted both two "total strangers" and then adopted my grandson. I love my adopted daughters just as deeply as if they were blood. When my younger daughter became pregnant at 19 and could not parent, I took in my grandson and adopted him.
The adoption of my grandson changed my relationship with my daughter. Even though it was what we wanted, she felt "shut out" because suddenly she was her son's "sister" and I was making the decisions about his pediatrician, daycare, church attendance, even his clothing. She didn't always like my decisions, but she didn't have the right to parent anymore. Also, she felt like I "chose him" over her and then she felt guilty for being jealous of her own baby and guilty for being angry with me for doing exactly what she asked me to do.
He is now almost six years old and I am six years older. I am retired and money is tight. I can't be a "young mother" who teaches her son how to ride a bike, or throws a football with him in the back yard. I am beginning to have health problems and am just hoping that I will be able to see him through to HS graduation.
Sometimes I think a young couple with time, money, and health would have been a better choice. I pray you make the best choice for your baby and not be pressured or guilted into a choice you -- and your child-- will regret.
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