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I think the sooner the better. Not a good thing to surprise a kid with. Every month or so I would show our little one the little book of his birthparents and his first days with us and go through the whole story. I made it into a wonderful thing. This started the same time we started to read to him, etc about 1 year old. He really put it together when my friend was pregnant when he was 2 1/2 yrs and he wanted me to grow a baby in my tummy like she was. As heartbreaking as it was to tell him that I couldn't, we talked about how maybe one day another birthmother may grow a baby for us in her tummy and ask us to have him/her join our family and how that would make us so hapoy just like when our son's birthmom picked us and he joined our family. We make it out as being really special. He is now at the stage where he is starting to understand where he got his looks from. He knows he has big beautiful brown eyes like his BPs.
Starting out early also helped me with the emotions of it. I use to find it very difficult to talk about without getting emotional but I want him to know what a happy thing it is and kids don't really understand why you may cry when you are happy.
Now that we have adopted again I think that he thinks most families get their babies this way even though several friends have had babies. To him either way is normal.
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