you have every right to be emotional.
right now i'm the relative placement in your scenario. A was in care for 5.5 months before we finally got him. My biggest frustration is it took them nearly 3 months for them to even call us, and then we were delayed time and time again for 2.5 months as we tried to get him in our home. they wouldn't let us visit until we did all the paperwork, but they were slower than molasses. i think sometimes cps is failing relatives just as much as they are failing foster parents. "luckily" for me....my son was placed in a shelter home, not a foster, and so when the time came for him to leave, it was not heartwrenching for the family....they were happy for him.
i will say that the outcome of your case is going to depend alot on your judge and what the child's atty and case worker are suggesting. also, if this family knew about the child the entire time but did not come forward, that would probably help your case somewhat as well, otherwise, i can not imagine them passing over a relative placement. i have come to learn that is just what they do. i had a friend who was in a similar situation. she hired an atty to help prove that the children were bonded to her after 15 months of being in her home, but in the end, they still placed with some obscure relatives. you never know.
now, my one section of good news in this mess is that i also used to be on the side you are on. i have a child that i adopted after being in my home about 2 years. for about 18 months of that time, this person was aware we were going to adopt. she never said anything. she visited twice, the visits were awful....it just seemed like she didn't really care for the child. after 18 months, she called the sw and said she wanted the child. sw basically said "no way." it didn't go much farther than that. family backed off, and we adopted. it is obviously a much more complex story than that, but my point is again, you never know. as much as i've come to agree that family is the best placement for a child, i have also learned, first hand, that this also depends on the family.
i'd push forward if i were you. i'd start by point blank asking your case worker what is up and what is the likely hood these children would go with family. they don't have a crystal ball, but they may be able to tell you what they think might happen based on previous cases.