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If you don't want to go through an agency, international adoption, or foster care, then I think it will be difficult to find a toddler available for private adoption.
It's far less common for a toddler to be willingly placed for adoption then for a newborn, and when it does happen, the mother is likely to either place the child with someone she knows or go through an agency.
You may also want to research and consider the challenges of adopting outside of the birthorder and "artificial twining", since the child would likely be older or very close in age to your son.
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