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Originally Posted by blessedbybug
You're talking about two different things right?
1) closed adoption
2) not telling a child he/she was adopted
First off, how open or closed an adoption is should be the decision of those involved and no one else. It is not a one sided decision (as in one part states they want an open, but not really) but it is a personal decision and should be made based on the unique circumstances contained in the relationship between the two families who are part of the child's life. If one seeks a closed adoption for legit reasons ( or reasons that both parties agree to) then they should accept that regardless of what is said by others. I would have to leave that decision up to the people intimately involved in the relationships.
The second thing though... and it takes a lot for me to say this as it is passing judgement, but not telling a child he/she was adopted is reckless parenting, a selfish act in a role that should be whollly unselfish. It not only jeopardizes the well-being of the person who was placed in your care with the understanding that the child would be cared for, it completely denies for the person who was adopted a whole part of who they are. It denies a person to completely know themselves. Not to mention how it jeopardizes their relationship with the child they raised. Reckless behavior for sure.
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Took the (much nicer & more eloquent) words right out of my mouth!!!!
I don't think passing judgment is a totally bad thing anyways...sometimes you have to be real with someone & just tell them that you DO NOT agree with something. Not everything has to be PC.
