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Oh Julie! How confusing for her. I'll admit, we didn't have any of those issues with DS before we brought DD home. However, we were taking him with us, so I don't think he ever questioned who would/wouldn't be coming back with us.
Can you take her along for p/u? I think it really made a huge difference for our son. It seemed like it all really clicked with him when we got there. If that's not an option, just give it time. Maybe structure your conversations with her more about how you will be getting used to having 2 kids to care for, etc., and you understand any concerns she might have.
That's not much help, but it will all play out just fine in time. She'll get it once the time comes.
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Susie
Bio DS 5/20/05
11/13/2007 received amended I-171H
11/20/2007 dossier to Guatemala and referral of baby girl!!!  
12/1-4/2007 Visit trip to sign POA and meet Ryenn  
12/19/2007 DNA results to USE 99.99% match 
1/25/08 found out we're out of FC, not sure of date
2/16 thru 2/20 - visit numero dos!
2/21/08 - PA!!!
2/27/08 - in PGN! Praying for a quick OUT!
4/21/08 - OUT of PGN!!!!
4/29/08 - ORANGE!!! 
5/8/08 - DNA at LabCorp - quick results please!!
5/13/08 - DNA at USE!! PINK me USE!! 
5/14/08 - PINK! (but didn't find out until 5/20!)
5/25/08 - Gotcha day
5/29/08 - home forever
Our blog: Little Man y Princesa
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