To be honest, I would let those in your life know that you are still considering your options and will not be making any final decisions until your son is born. If they try to convince you what is “right” (either one way or the other) then end the conversation. You need support right now, not opinions on what you should do. I would also get a message to the potential adoptive parents that you will not be making up your mind until your son is born. This will take a lot of emotional pressure off you later.
The next step is to educate yourself. I can say, that the choice to place my son is the biggest decision I have ever made and will probably always be. Adoption is not about signing the paperwork and moving on. You will carry this the rest of your life. It maybe the right choice for you but it will leave a mark. If you choose to place, please, please, please get some counseling afterwards. The aparents will pay for it so don’t let that be an issue.
Also, look into open adoption and think about the level of contact that you would be comfortable with. Open adoption can/and does include pictures, updates, phone calls, letters and visitation. Also, have a clear understanding of the level of contact the aparents desire – DO NOT guess about this. It’s just too important.
And finally… Understand that the decision to place your child is just that – A DESCISION. In itself, it is neither good nor bad, selfish or unselfish but it must be what is right for you and Matt. This goes for parenting as well. This is your choice and you
should be thinking about YOU and what it is that YOU want. It sounds like you have some great support systems (even tho they can get on your very last nerve at times)
Brenda is a great resource. You can private message her here.
Adoption.com Forums - MyPage: bromanchik Look for the Send PM button on the left. She is an expert at giving you the tools you need to make this choice. Unbiased information is what is needed and she can point you in the right direction.
Take care of yourself. Stay here and keep asking questions. This will be OK. ((( Hugs ))) I know how hard this is.