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I have to second what Oceans said. It is perfectly normal to feel emotional right now. Even if you weren't faced with such a monumental decision, just being pregnant and having your hormones all over the place is going to make you feel emotional. Add to that having to think about what decision will be best for you, your partner, and your child, well, of course you will be feeling all sorts of things. Are you receiving any sort of counseling at this time? It could be very helpful to get an unbiased professional to help you sort through your feelings and emotions. Where does your BF stand in all this? Is he preferring parenting, placing for adoption, or keeping the child in either your or his family? Really, no one can make this decision for you, it is between you and your baby's father. Let it be your decision. Own it. I am forever grateful that my decision to place my child was MY decision. Not my mom's, not the adoption agency's, not my friends or other relatives. It was not easy, but after considering all options, it was the best choice in my circumstances. I had semi-open adoption, and did get letters and photos (and still do). Open was not an option at the time. I also got lots of counseling, both before and after placement. Any way you go, it will be a permanent decision, so give yourself as much time as you need to make it. What is so difficult about making this choice is no matter what you choose, it won't be easy. And there is really no way to tell ahead of time what will be more difficult. What is good is you don't need to be set on a final decision now. See how things go, get informed of your choices, see how you feel after your child is born. You should not be getting pressure either way (to parent or place) from anyone.
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