[lovemy2boys]

Hi Lyrically,

I'm an adoptive mom, and I hope you don't mind me posting...For what it's worth, my advice is to just take some time to weigh out all of your options. I know you are due to deliver in a few weeks, but that doesn't mean that you have to PLACE in a few weeks.

First off, don't feel obligated to the couple you met. They may be wonderful and sweet and loving, but you have an obligation to yourself and your child - no one else..,.not this couple, not your parents, no one. You have to decide what is best, and you should do so with only the two of you in mind. If you've told the couple that you would like to place with them, maybe give them the heads up that you emotions are overwhelming you right now, and that you need time before a decision can be made.

And like you said in your post - you may not have "liked" children before, but this isn't just a child - this is YOUR child, and that makes all the difference in the world...seeing this little baby may change your mind completely and you may decide that parenting IS your only option. Please dont push that aside because you think you may "owe" someone.

As for a relative adoption, well, those are just as complicated as a non relative adoption, and aren't without problems. I've heard of as many hardships with birth/adoptive parents in relative adoptions as I have with those not in the family...it brings about it's own special circumstances, so you may want to consider that as well. (AS A DISCLAIMER, I have no experience in adoption within a family, but I've seen many members of all sides of the triad discuss the hardships on this board, so I wanted to give you a bit of info from that perspective). But having said that, the size of a house doesn't determine the lack of ability to love, so if it's finances only that concerns you (and you do think your parents would make good parents to this baby) then you may want to consider this.

We have an open adoption with both of our boys' firstmoms, and though they haven't been without struggles, they have been wonderful. Unfortunatly though, as Rylee has stated, there is no guarantee that parents from either side (birth and adoptive) will honor the openness, so that is something you need to consider.

I would try to seek some counseling on this...If I were you, I'd contact Brenda Romanchik on this site (someone will pass along her email or pm) and she could find an unbiased counselor to help you sort through some things.

Best of luck to you. These boards are a great place for support.