[julie23]

hello charles...

i agree with everything jackie wrote... i'm a birthmother, too.

I am also an adoptive mother... and I am raising three bio daughters...

whew. that's a lot of mothering!

I just wanted to add that I am very impressed with your ability to articulate how adoption has affected your life... i think that takes alot of soul searching and insight...

i also appreciate your concern for your birthmothers feelings... although, i do agree with jackie... your birthmothers feelings are hers to sort... you need to take care of yourself.

I am curious if you have sought any counseling regarding your adoption issues? The baby we are adopting certainly isn't ready for counseling yet... but i envision utilizing adoption counselors her whole life... not to emphasize that she was adopted, but just to help her sort things... of course, I am praying that her birthparents are always a part of her life, too... and that might mean she has a lot to sort out as she goes along...

I tend to agree with the theory that the child who is adopted (even as a newborn) can suffer from attachment disorder... of course, some do not suffer, others only mildly, and yet, in others that first loss in their life can show up in severe attachment disorders...

Anyhow... i think counselors who specialize in adoption issues are quite valuable... and if you haven't found one, it might be a good idea... it might be someone who can support you through the ups and downs of a search.. followed by the extreme emotions of a reunion.

also... i always forget what we can post and cannot post... but there is an agency in texas that really helps reunite people. i will pm you the link. they actually have search angels who have access to the birth records ... if one of them can help you, you might just have the info you want in about 48 hours.

good luck,
j