[nikkianni]

Welcome Nate! And congrats! He's just beautiful.
As for your other feelings, I think these are normal. It's not comfortable for anyone (hopefully) to be OK with feeling joy at another's pain.
But like Storm said, or Aclee, this is something that you can't fix. You didn't force the adoption, and you were chosen especially to be a parent to this precious boy.
That's what I focused on as I watched DD's birthparents walking out of the hospital room while I held her. I felt the deepest guilt for being the one taking their baby. But then I realized that this was their choice and when they walked out, they did so expecting us to be the best parents in the world, because that's what we all think DD deserves. That's why we were all there. That's why we all cried, whether in joy or pain or both.
So enjoy your precious baby boy, and know that it's OK to be happy and sad.