Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Howdy
Sounds like you are allowed to arrange visits with the bmom when/if you want to? My first thought was your daughter's CW is doing her job making sure there is no inappropriate unsafe contact. I think she is doing her job correctly to question the child, since legally isn't the CW the one responsible for ensuring adoption in the current placement will be the best thing for the child? Just because you are honest doesn't mean all the adoptive families that the CW deals with are, and she should not just assume what the potential afamily says is true.
|
Just because I can arrange a visit (I'm in Florida and biomoms in Idaho so it's not like I can!) doesn't mean I will. I will NOT allow my SIL to hurt my soon to be daughter ever again. Just because the option is there doesn't mean I will allow it. And our SW who's been on our case for many many months should know my feelings by now on that one!
This is true...not all foster parents are honest and truthful. I don't have any problems with her seeing our niece anytime or asking her questions but when it involves her bioparents and we are not involved then it upsets me (plus finding out afterwards by someone else INSTEAD of the CW). Her bioparents caused alot of harm to our niece (emotionally and physically) and we are trying to protect her. I just took offense that a CW would think that after 13 mos in our home that we would not have what is best in mind for her or that we are lying foster parents! She should know us by now I would think. It just seems sneaky to me I guess. And now that we are less then a month from finalization, why now? Why not do that in the beginning to make sure the placement is right, not right at the homestretch when she's been here 13 mos? Why didn't she also contact us to ask us how the trip went? An 8 yr old is going to tell a totally different story then we are...we dealt with the adults privately while there, she just played with her cousins and brother and sister so of course she's going to be happy about the trip. We made it a positive experience, not a negative one.
How many foster parents CW show up at their foster kids daycare or summer camp unannounced and ask questions about your kids bioparents like how the visits were or did you see your bioparents, etc without them there and then they find out from the child? I'm just curious.....maybe it's normal to do this....Just wasn't sure.