Dear Denisesmom,Hi.* My name is Janey.* I am new to this forum and on the opposite end of things in that I am just beginning to deal with the grief of giving my two babies up.* So, I don't have any experience in what it is to find our children but I would like to take a moment to suggest something to you if that would be all right.
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I had not been able to find her due to laws in Il and b/c I had no memory of the event. I could not remember the day she was born
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I am reading what you wrote here and I am wondering if it is possible that there are two things going on for you at once.* First you are dealing with the stress (I can only imagine how it must be) of discovering your daughter and the rollercoaster ride that must surely put a person on.But also, is it possible that you're suffering some kind of PTSD?* That all of the grief you felt is flying back at you with no way to cork the **** so to speak.* I only ask because I find myself in the same boat.* It is a terrible thing to be suddenly struck mute with grief, with realizations of what we lost.* I of course can't give any words of wisdom on how to deal with your daughter now that you've found her.* I would sound....well....rediculous.* But I wanted to say that, with the grief you are suffering, perhaps you need to slow down and really take care of yourself right now emotionally.* This is a powerful thing you are going through and from your other post it sounds as if are feeling very alone.** Jackie mentions in one of her posts her how she had to realize that she was bringing the triggers from the early days into her reunion issues.* I imagine it must be like this so much for women who go through this.* Finally, the chance to say all the things you wanted to say, to stop the pain, to take it all away for both of you.Sigh....I do not know if such a thing is possible in the short run....perhaps it is in the long run.* None of us can see the outcome of things from where we're currently at.* But you can take care of yourself, continue to reach out to the women here who've been where you are and also, if you just need a hug and someone to listen to your grief, I would be honored to hold your hand as an e-friend and walk with you.My heart goes out to you today,Janey