[jalapeno]

Originally Posted by furrybluemom

I have adopted twice before from foster care and love my 3 boys with all my heart. After 7 years of waiting for them to be emotionally and physically stable, DH and I decided it was time to add the girl. That was in June 2006. We have been through Guatemala shutting down and now Vietnam shutting down. We are considering other country options. We just applied for a domestic adoption through DSS. I saw a profile of a little girl and sent in our homestudy only to be told that we were one of over 175 families who have submitted homestudies. I can't believe the bad luck we have had, the money we have spent, the number of agencies we have worked with, the vast quanities of expired documents we have collected. I just want to parent another child. I never tried to get pregnant and now my age and health issues it is no longer an option. We are willing to parent children with special needs again and are already parenting biracial children. The boys therapist told us not to do foster care since that would effect their stablity. I know that I should be content with my 3 boys, but I can't let go of the unfairness of it all. Any words of wisdom on how to move past this would be welcome.

I'm slightly confused. The boys' therapist would be ok with you doing an international adoption with a special needs child but not fost/adopt? Why not fost/adopt with a child that's already been TPR'd? Would the boys have an issue with the concept of foster care or is it that they might become attached and then have something happen to disrupt the placement? I KNOW nothing is guaranteed in foster care (I've been through my own soul-crushing experience there) but maybe it wouldn't hurt to check out the list of kiddos looking for homes? Seems like there are always a few available that have already been through 95% of the legal red tape. I wish you the best. I don't think you need to be "content" if you still feel the pull to parent another child. There's a way. It might take time but your daughter will be worth it.