[Mkuhlmann06]

There are a lot of people on here with a ton of experience and great insight/input. Ive relied on them for their advice and suggestions many times to include when I was considering a preadoptive placement (it was my first one). We tried to prepare for the worse...

I was placed with my now AS 11 months ago. Recently I reread his child profile and paperwork and noticed that many of the things in there could be signs of attachment disorder. Not to mention, just prior to him moving in, the foster family found containers of pee in his room. My son spent 8 yrs in foster care, was in 15 placements (including my home and 2 reunifications). He was separated from his siblings (they were all adopted separately except for 2). He was in therapuetic foster care when we met him. He had ODD and Mood Disorder and on no meds, with lying, stealing, and class/home work issues (didn't like to do it). Had some aggression noted in his past.

In 11 months, his diagnosis changed to ADHD and PTSD. We are still not sure the diagnosis are accurate and he's still on no meds. We've had BSC and MT for the past 2 months and outpatient therapy every 2 weeks for past 11 months. But in the time he's been here, we haven't seen one tantrum or one aggressive behavior (a few door slams and a few slam of fists on table in frustration/anger). He does get upset and voices is disgust, dissatisfaction, etc. We experienced a lot of lying and some stealing, and issues with doing class/home work. Im glad to report that for the past 4 months we haven't experienced any stealing, his class/home work rate of completion improved 85% (not perfect, but much better), and his lying has decreased (he still does for stupid/insignificant stuff). He's come a long way and we're really proud of him. He's still got things to work on (self esteem, lying, improving vocalizing feelings), but had I not been given the advice on here on what to look for and some parenting skills, I may not have picked up on indicators that could have been RAD. Im glad we prepared for the worse and am thankful it wasn't the case, but had we not prepared, I think I'd be really sorry.

On the last day of school, his teacher invited parents for a year recap. They also had posters with different topics (what I liked most about this year, the hardest thing I learned, my favorite activity, most interesting fact I learned, etc). My son wrote "You can't get away with stuff" for the last topic mentioned. These posters will be hung up for the incoming class next year. When I saw that, I thought "ah ha" he really is getting it.

My point in all this rambling? You need to do a lot of research and be aware of all the possibilities. The same information in my child's profile found in another could be indication of an attachment disorder. Don't get me wrong, we had to work hard to build a strong family attachment/bond and I used a lot of suggestions by the folks on this board even though he wasn't RAD or given an attachment disorder diagnosis. I think it really gave us a boost in becoming a family.

My suggestion is it is hard to know just based on reports. You need to be hypervigilent during your visits and after the child moves in. Also, go with your gut and don't get snowed. Ask questions, lots of questions. Talk to the current and previous FPs if possible.

We are know looking for our 2nd child and am reading through child profiles again. So we're carefully trying to assess and read between the lines.

Good luck!