|
Hi i certainly feel for you ,,, these are testing times ,,,,very difficult as you try to adjust to parenthood and adjusting to open adoption as well...
we have been through all of this, especially the twisting of words part and are unfortunately still going through this 3 yrs later,,,,
My only advice is to just set those boundaries again as gently but firmly as possible, especially where the communication comes into it ( you saying one thing her hearing another ),,,, re-confirm to her that you still want her in your life but for the sake of your family you need to stick to the original agreement, at least so you can have some sort of normality return to your life. She may be struggling ( and while you feel for her pain ) you also have to look after you and your family too. This sort of thing became very stressful for our family and took its toll on us,,,( we should have been stronger in the beginning) i honestly feel that for a harmonious relationship in the future you need to be honest with how you are feeling,,,, you might also want to add ( as we had to ) that if she doesnt quite understand what you mean, or where you are coming from that all she has to do is ask for you to clarify it. I truly hope that you can get this all sorted out for everyone involved....
best wishes for the future
proudmum :-)
|