I know she is having issues. Honestly I do. But yes she says she has a great "shrink". But who knows. I am a psychotherapist and I know there are a lot of them out there that have no idea what they are doing, of course there are some really good ones (like me
)) But I do know. I will tell you from a professionals heart that not until you are in the middle of all this do you really know the depth of pain that this can cause. I had gone 45 years, yes I wanted to know her, yes I was sad at times but I did not know the extent that trying not to feel the pain of the loss took on me emotionally and physically. I am now going through some the hardest times of my life. Just when I think I have gotten over somethinbg something new comes up. For instance, buying her a birthday card for the first time and actually having someone to send it to sent me into a tail spin for days. She had said I could call her on her birthday but when I did she would not answer the phone. So I had to leave a message on her phone. She wouldn't talk to me.
I can not understand why if the others don't invite her in she keeps pushing AND why she would take that out on me. I haven't heard from her in a week and I probably won't again. (just how I feel) In many ways that would be easier than having her come in and out. I suppose there is anger at me for giving her up and I know she is angry at her mother for not telling her she was adopted (but I can't help that) but she is the one that says you must be adult and accept what is. (this because my other kids are estranged too because of their fathers hatred for me) Believe me this is a long convoluted story. Bottom line I know you are right. But how do you build trust and relationship if you don't have contact? Denises mom