Let's see.....first adoption - matched after waiting a few months, never met pbmom (she wanted a closed adoption), she ended up deciding to parent before the baby was born. Next match a few months later, we brought home DS.
Second adoption - matched within a couple of months of waiting, saw baby at hospital and had full support of biofamily (they even sent a congrats email to us), I caught something that was abig old red flag and mentioned it to our agency and they questioned her further, found she wanted to parent. Matched again 6 months later, ready to pick up the baby within days when -surprise! new medical info on pbmom. We backed out (ped did not like the new data at all, we also had a bad feeling about the relationship we'd have with the bfamily based on things we encountered during meetings -smelling of alcohol, etc-and how their statements about medical stuff greatly differed than the actual reports. Hardest thing we've ever had to do). A year later, we were matched with DD.
Our former agency stated that about 1/2 of all pbmoms decide to parent (and their numbers as far as open cases vs actual placements seem to reflect that). But you are absolutely right - when you hear about that baby, you start imagining what if we're picked, are we ready, what does he/she look like, etc. It's hard not to! Heck, I did every time I became pregnant. You just have to try and keep in mind that the baby is still going into a home where he/she will be loved, whether that is another couple or with the biofamily. And that one of these calls will really be YOUR baby!
