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Originally Posted by Sam-N-Tony
Lumpkin - I think its wrong of you to think you wasted your time.
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Actually, that is how I felt. Sorry that you think it's wrong for me to have my own feelings, but it doesn't change the fact that it is how I felt.
After a few more classes, maybe my opinion will change, but we were discussing our thoughts after the first class. And the first class was an adopting parent disaster - the things we were told were everything but to ignore the child so that you don't get attached to him, etc. My wife and I both walked away shrugging our shoulders because if we asked a more "adoption specific" question, we were treated as if we didn't know what we were talking about, since obviously the kids are going back home with mom and dad.
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Originally Posted by Sam-N-Tony
After all you are adopting a child that was a foster child at once. I'm sorry if I come off harsh but I think you should know every aspect of fostering and the foster child. You should know all the aspects of their special needs, their emotional and behavioral issues that usually come with a foster child.
I don't think there should be a special class for adoptive parents, because after all he/she was a foster child. I am personally offended (which does not happen often) because I did want to adopt and did decide to ultimately foster to adopt, which is one of the best things I have ever done. I have been able to provide a loving home to 5 children that regardless of whether they go home or not, they are still MY kids. It think had you went into the class with an open mind you would find out how much really does apply to you.
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Again, we're talking 1st class here, and OUR class was so very slanted against the concept that you might adopt, that I think there should be a class that gives the information/training needed to handle the situations of children coming from foster care without making adoptive parents feel like outcasts.
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Originally Posted by Sam-N-Tony
The child you are adopting is a product of the foster care system and a lot they teach in those classes apply to all foster kids.
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The child we are adopting is the product of a neglectful parent. The foster care system placed them with relatives that they know, and they've been in our care without any foster training for months. We were told in order to adopt we needed to go through the program - we were not the only ones in our class with this same exact situation.
Ultimately, we decided to drop the classes for this very reason. After researching (after being so disappointed with the class), we found that our state does not mandate the class or homestudy for relatives, so we decided we'd save ourselves from constantly being instructed the wrong way to care for our adopted child. We may pick up the class later when we decided that we have the resources to consider foster parenting in the future, but we'll only do so knowing that we'll be focusing on fostering, since the class seems to only be setup (or at least taught) for that purpose in our area.
oh and.. my first serious girlfriend - yes, we discussed marriage within months. Within 9 months we were married, have been married for over 20 years now, and have several wonderful children together.
