[Cjmeck]

Personally, I don't think I'd contact him yet. I say that only because 1. his age/probable maturity level (my brother is his age) 2. the pregnancy/adoption was maybe not "real" to him since he didn't participate and not much time has passed for him to really reflect on that 3. He is getting ready to go through a HUGE life changing event as it is by joining the military. The stress that will be put upon him will be so intense (DH is currently in the AF, and I use to be). So I don't think I'd add anything else HUGE into his life.
Your daughter is still young, still has plenty of time before she starts understanding about adoption. The military will greatly influence how bdad matures over the next year. If it were me, I think I'd wait a year or two. I don't think he'd be ready or receptive to your offer right now with all that he has going on; particularly based on his past behavior concerning your dd. Keep his information and absolutely DO reach out to him at some point in the near future, but maybe just not right now.
I know alot of what I said are just generalizations and he may/may not think as I think he might. Maybe you could ask bmom what her feelings are on this? She hopefully knows him well enough; and is still a MS "friend" to see if he has brought up wanting to see your dd.
I think your intentions are good and hopefully one day soon, he'll see the benefits of OA too.
Best wishes.