[lovemy2boys]

Our situation was almost IDENTICAL to yours...OA with firstmom, closed with firstdad...bad relationship between the two...high school...off to military...

My advice, for what it's worth, is to leave it alone for now...concentrate on building a relationship with your daughter's birthmom. If your daughter is only 3 months old, there are probably still some unresolved emotions between her firstparents. Some time in the future things may change, and if so, they will probably contact each other if they are still "friends" on myspace. If he requested a closed adoption, he may not be ready for someone to contact him out of the blue...and SHE may not be ready to "go there" quite yet. I wouldn't necessarily contact him, but maybe if she brings him up, you can tell her that you are open to communicating with him and she may pass along that info (although it's not always the best idea to have a go-between).

We tried talking to our son's firstmom about contact with his firstfather when our son was a baby...it just caused problems in our relationship, which we ultimately worked through. Our son's birthfather just recently showed interest in our son, who is now 6 1/2...

I won't go through the whole story because it's complicated and quite honestly, emotionally exhausting, but suffice it to say, as our son got older, she brought up AJ's firstfather, so we once again told her that we'd love to hear from him if he was open to it, and she passed along the info to him...but that was almost 6 years after our son was born...

Like I said, there is soo much to worry about as a new mom, and so much work that goes into an OA...just take it a day at a time. Best of luck!