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Originally Posted by pg13209
If I were in your shoes I would explain my rationale to her. I would then say if the husband absolutely had to be involved I would go to a neutral location (as far away formyour house as possible) and then have someone there with you with your children. If she responds negatively this is her choice. Is it a open adoption? If she does respond negatively ot your request I would gently remind her that you do not have to let her see your child at all and that this is a courtesy to her.JMO.
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You know, you're right it is a courtesy, but I hate the whole be good and do what I say thing or you can't see your child. That is low in alot of ways, using a child to manipulate an adult being the lowest.
Someone may respond negatively to that at first and then given some time to think, may agree. I don't see why everything has to be so quick and judgemental. This shouldn't be about getting a firstmom out of anyone's life, this should be about building a good healthy relationship, which may take some time if this woman hasn't had the healthiest relationships to role model.