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Originally Posted by pg13209
If I were in your shoes I would explain my rationale to her. I would then say if the husband absolutely had to be involved I would go to a neutral location (as far away formyour house as possible) and then have someone there with you with your children. If she responds negatively this is her choice. Is it a open adoption? If she does respond negatively ot your request I would gently remind her that you do not have to let her see your child at all and that this is a courtesy to her.JMO.
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You know, you're right it is a courtesy, but I hate the whole be good and do what I say thing or you can't see your child. That is low in alot of ways, using a child to manipulate an adult being the lowest.
Someone may respond negatively to that at first and then given some time to think, may agree. I don't see why everything has to be so quick and judgemental. This shouldn't be about getting a firstmom out of anyone's life, this should be about building a good healthy relationship, which may take some time if this woman hasn't had the healthiest relationships to role model.
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First mom to the amazing Kiddo and adopted adult.
1-4-2009 Mom and I visit Kiddo despite the bad weather. He really loved the blue mittens I made him and even helped me plan my living room. Apparently Hot Wheels wallpapper is the way to go.
2-16-2009 I got a promotion, that comes with a raise. Mom and Dad are visiting and we're going to Al's for pie to celebrate.
4-27-2009 Dad surprises me with a Lady Ugly Stick (an awesome fishing rod that is pink) and a 2nd Iowa Light Artillery Battery jacket. I'm a lucky girl!
5-30-2009 Kiddo turns five. It is hard to believe he is that old already, it seems like just yesterday he was being born. I was at peace for the first time on his birthday, what a nice feeling.
6-13&14 2009 A cannon live fire in Casper WY. We got third place and I got to see Devil's Tower for the first time, it was pretty awesome.
7-4-2009 Amelia the kitten comes to live with me and Liz. Talk about jealousy, Liz will adjust though.
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