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One thing that I've noticed is that a poster will post about a personal situation, pouring her heart out, and the first post to respond doesn't even acknowledge her post but instead points to one word that should be changed. If someone is posting a response and truly interested in the OP, and then they can add an "oh, by the way...", I think the suggestion would mean more and be more likely to be followed by the OP. Otherwise, it seems as if some are just monitoring the posts looking for offensive terms, which I don't believe they are. Sometimes it's hard to know if a post is something you have anything to add to until you've opened it, then there's the offensive term just begging for a response - maybe in those instances a PM would be best? A "saw your post and just wanted to let you know..." kind of thing?
At times, posting does feel like walking on eggshells, and some things I can't even post about, even though they are very real issues to adoption in my personal circumstances. Maybe it would help if there was at least one forum for each party in the triad that could only be for that party - for those posts that are just too touchy?
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