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Sadly some older folks have all these negative preconcieved about adoption. My adad family was like that. totally unsuportive and treated us differently than their biograndchildren. My agrandmother had this crazzy idea that adopted children are somehow problems and that adopting someone else's problem should be avoided. She never held back either and even went so far as making jerky remarks infront of us. My adad's brother who was a raging alcoholic was also opposed to adoption.
There is a difference from people being anti adoption and being aginst it because they are worried that you will end up hurt. If it is about you dad wanting to protect you from possible hurt, perhaps you can reassure him that you are aware of the possibility of getting hurt but that is a risk you are willing to take. In a case like that they more than likely will come around once you are placed with your baby.
On the other hand if they are just anti adoption, it alot harder for them to come around. Unfortunately for my family they never did.
The most important thing for me was that my aparents stuck to what they wanted to do and did not seek out their/her approval and went ahead and adopted because that was how they were to build their family. I cannot honestly sad that there was any love lost because my aparents loved us so much that it was impossible to feel any kind of loss.
It was only on a couple occasions that agrandma deliberatly excluded us from an activity where all the grandchildren where there and she told us that we couldn't go with her(she was taking the other cousins to see Santa Claus) and I think it bothered me more because my younger brother wanted to go.
After that my aparents stopped bringing us around her and certainly made up for any loss we might have felt.
i guess they thought that even though she was against the adoption, once we were actually adopted she would come to love and accept us, but that never happened . It was her loss though because she was the one to miss out on her son's great family.
I tell you all this because all you can do is attempt to explain your desire to adopt only so many times, then you must follow your heart. I an ideal world everyone would rejoice and share in you decision and journey. Sadly, there are some who never get the experience of sharing such a bueatiful blessing.
As hard as it is, and I know it must hurt and you feel let down, know that atthe end of the day you need to follow yourr heart
EZ
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