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oh mommacass, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, my heart just feels for you. It's probably smart to not tell them you don't want to move forward on any adoption right now. You just never know what lies ahead for any of us.
And you are way to hard on yourself, talking about "leaving a dream behind".
It will be what it will be! (and no one knows what it will be, that's for sure)
keep your head up thru the next couple of weeks, keep us updated and keep a little bit of your sanity!
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