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You know I have been thinking about taking a break from these boards because I think they make me "adoption-obsessed" when adoption is really not a "big deal" in our family (my DD and DH are both adoptees). I think sometimes I think too much about it....(but of course I have learned so much and gotten so much support and I want to give support if I can as well).
One thing that makes me batty is the "assumption" that there is something so remarkably "different" about adoptees. I think every person has issues in life to confront, and for adoptees, adoption is one such issue. I can't speak for all adoptees, but I know my husband and his siblings feel like adoption in no way defines them if that makes sense.
When you love a child, you love them unconditionally. That means that if "tough" stuff comes up, you deal with it (Lovemy2boys example is quite beautiful). It's just good parenting, imo. Also, to try to "control" what any future child may feel about being adopted just will cause you to go bananas!
Also, it's hard to "know" what it's like to parent a child that you adopt until you are "there." For us at least, I really don't see any remarkable differences in how we parent DD than if she were our bio child.
Finally, studies are welll...I don't know...usually you can find a study to say just about anything. Even if they were totally accurate, your situation may fall outside the bell curve.
Good luck in the process!!!! Have a lot of confidence in yourself that you will be a great parent.
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