[Saya]

I want to respond to a few of your statements:

"I know that every adoptee will have feelings of abandonment to some extent or other"

Hmmm - there was an interesting discussion on the Adult Adoptee board about this recently, about how using words like "every" and "always" doesn't make sense. Some adoptees never feel a sense of abandonment. Some do to the extent that it permeates them their entire lives. Two sibling adoptees who grow up in the same house with the same parents can have totally different feelings about this. People are different, and their responses to being adopted will be different.

"I just want to end up with a happy, ethical, well adjusted and productive human being who realizes that I love her more than anything."

This made me smile. This is what all parents want, I would think, no matter how their kids came into their homes and their hearts. Unfortunately no matter how your kids come to you, there are no guarantees. Love isn't always "enough." BUT I believe a parent who shows their child unconditional love, nutures them, has open lines of communications, develops mutual trust with their child, and allows their child to own their feelings will in fact be building a good foundation for this to happen.

"I recently read an article and the adopted dad was saying that the little girl asked him why he didn't just give money to her family in guatemala so they could keep her. What do you say to that? It seems like somehow no matter what you do adoption is just never as good. "

It's interesting - my daughter is in fact from Guatemala, so I've thought a lot about this kind of thing. She's only 2 now, but I could see us having a conversation like this when she's older. My feeling about it is this - it's an excellent, yet difficult question. If and when she asks it, I will try to respond honestly in the best of my ability in an age appropriate manner, making it clear to her that I am proud of the fact that she is thinking about these things and that she feels comfortable enough to ask these kinds of questions. I don't feel like by asking it she will be in anyway saying that adoption isn't "as good." I think she'll be trying to sort out some very complicated issues about family, love, poverty, charity - and it will be my job as her mom to help her with that process.