[oceanica]

I Would like to have your thoughts on this issue. I know when I get my little one I am going to give her (or him) everything in the world. She will not be wanting for anything. She will live in a very nice house and have all the material things she wants and needs and have the best in education and she'll see the world and have an extended family who loves her. But most of all I'm going to love her so fiercely and completely that you cannot imagine. I'm going to try to involve her firstmom as much as I can to help her through the issues and help her understand that she is loved and wanted. I'm going to be the best and most exceptional parent there is. I'm not doing it to be a humanitarian. I'm doing it because I want to be a mom, a "real" mom, to a child and mainly give her all the love and everything else I have to give. There is no drama in my house, it's stable, we don't go out partying and we don't have anything to do but take care of our baby. It should be as good for a child as it can be.
That being said, I know that every adoptee will have feelings of abandonment to some extent or other. Although adoption generally is good for the child there is always that issue. We want to help our kids all we can and it hurts us when they hurt but there's not a lot we can do. I have read (don't ask the study cause I don't remember) that adopted children are generally more well adjusted and "happy" than bios. But in the end is it enough.
I recently read an article and the adopted dad was saying that the little girl asked him why he didn't just give money to her family in guatemala so they could keep her. What do you say to that? It seems like somehow no matter what you do adoption is just never as good. And if you read some of the posts on these forums written by adoptees and bmoms, you'll see that there are some seriously messed up people out there and they blame every single problem they have or have ever had on adoption. And yet, obvioulsy bios have just as many problems and trials, but they can't blame it on that. It almost makes you want to walk away.
I just want to end up with a happy, ethical, well adjusted and productive human being who realizes that I love her more than anything.