[Barksum]

Our youngest two kids are 12 months apart, and my next one up is older chronologically, but not developmentally. Some days I swear I have at least 2 more kids than I really do. It's like those weather reports that give you the actual temperature and the 'feels like' temperature! LOL

My 2nd Ds's foster mom was great...but she really surprised me when it came to nap/bed time. There was a short little song, a little hug and then she popped him right into bed. There was always low music playing in the room (2 babies shared a room) so it was good to have some background noise. But I remember thinking how cold that was...a mini-song and then bed. No cuddling and giggling, just *poof* and he was in bed.

But then I realized that she had 4 children under the age of 2, all of whom had special needs, plus her older children in the home. She specializes in caring for medically fragile foster babies (ie: drug affected/addicted at birth, premature infants, etc.), so she could not provide adequately for each infant if she spent even 15 minutes snuggling each one to sleep. By the time she got the last one down to sleep, the first one would be waking up. She'd end up chasing her tail!

So I started doing what she did, and have made other times to snuggle and cuddle together with each child. I have 5 kids, and have had foster kids in and out amongst all of them, too. Sometimes you just can't spend that much time at nap/bed times with each kid. Now I work hard to spend individual time with the kids, but not at nap/bed times. We still give hugs and kisses, sing and pray, then lights out, but story time and snuggles are not in the bed room. Additionally I've found that my kids with whom I've not cuddled in bed at bed time actually go to sleep better and more happily than those with whom we had more elaborate bed time routines. Go figure!

As to shopping...! If I have to have kids with me I make sure to have either my Dh with me or another competent helper. (Teenaged nieces have been a boon in my life!!) Often we shop singly; either Dh or I take the list and do the major shopping. We shop for 2 weeks at a time, and can save gas if only one of us goes as we can take The Little Car vs. The Van. Sometimes as an extra special treat one child goes with the shopping parent, but I can't keep track of them all and my stress level becomes astronomic if I have all of them to keep track of in the store.

Nope, this isn't what I had vaguely envisioned for my middle aged years...but neither was the gray hair, extra pounds, wrinkles, memory loss, chin hairs...oops, was that TMI?? LOL