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The only study I have is my DD, and at 4 year old, she's doing FANTASTIC in an open adoption. I can already see how much value she puts into her time with her birthmom and how much that relationship means to her. It's part of her identity, and without that relationship, I can see what a huge hole it would leave. I only wish it were MORE open. We do visits, but not phone calls as DD's birthmom is very private and shy.
I think there was a lot of fear on the extended family's side at first, like they would somehow "lose" DD to her birthfamily. At least my mom is starting to get it more now. She asked DD an adoption related question recently, and DD spouted off all about how she was born and about her birthmom and how her room looks and the things they did together and how she loves visiting... She could see how much it means to DD, and not confusing to her at all. My mom's a therapist, so that helps.
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