[Ethans_Mom]

Hi - We're new here (guess you couldn't figure that out since this is my first post...LOL)

DH and I have talked about adoption for many years. We were finally blessed with a child after infertility treatments. We want to add another child to our family and do not want to deal with years of infertility treatments again.

I have 3 concerns with adoption and am very confused where to look.

1) we are older. I'm 42 and DH is 50. I'm seeing a LOT of places limit an age range of no more than 45 years between the child and parent. We want a child under 3 years old. (our son is 3 and we want our new child to be younger than him.)

2) we are both obese. We are healthy (just qualified for life insurance, so that says a lot!) and we are working on losing some weight, but we will never be skinny. Do I understand correctly that the Asian countries will not even consider us because they deem obesity to be terminal? Or is it just certain Asian countries? Or a complete fallacy?

3) travel. We need a country that does not require a lengthy stay or multiple trips where both parents must travel. DH owns his own business and cannot be away for very long. (It's just him and a partner who is semi-retired) We would also travel with our son, so it would need to be safe for us to travel with him.

Thanks for any help/clarification you can give. I know my thoughts are quite jumbled right now.

Any race/country is fine, but hubby does have concerns with adopting a child that is 'black'. I won't say I understand because I don't. But to keep peace in the family I won't argue the point, regardless of how stupid it seems to me. (please no flames on this. I feel bad even putting it in print, but it will save time by admitting it up front. Countries like Ethiopia or Haiti would not be good choices for us.)