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While it does not address the issues directly - I found the book "the Secret of Parenting" gave some good prespective in an easy to read format.
I am trained to work with kids (and give advice) but your own child has certain behaviors and the book helps put those (as well as your own) in prespective. One thing I have really used is the recommendation to disengage from the discussion once I have said 'no' to something. It takes alot for me to stop reacting but for my son that bothers him more then being told no.
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