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Originally Posted by mommytoEli
so eli is 2 1/2 now, and has been dx with sensory integration disorder. he does these things, and regardless of what they can be attributed to, they need to stop. i need some creative ideas, bc what i've done so far, isn't working. here are a few things i need some ideas for:
1. when we ride in the car, bc of the way the latch system is set up, and i have 2 in a car seat and 1 in a booster. eli must sit next to my 6 month old. he pulls his arm and ear until the baby cries, and then eli laughs. if we tell him no, he yells back, and will actually say things like, "i WILL pull his ear." i've actually had to pull the car over to the side of the road quite often in the last few days. short of buying a new car, what would you do?
A. Put the car seat in a spot that does not have latch but put it on the lap or lap shoulder belt. If you can not use that seat in that position because lack of tether I would get another seat like the Graco Nautilus. I hear your pain. My SID kid is an adult now but it is challenging for everyone including the sibs. You do need to protect your other children from agressive or abusive behavior.
2. when he gets mad, he threatens. the other day he was mad because he had to get a chest xray. i was trying to be all mothering, and he yelled, "i'm gonna pee on you." and he did. i was floored...especially bc he wears a diaper, so the logistics of this one is still beyond me. i didn't know 2 year olds could do stuff like this. now he says it about other things, "i'm going to hit you," and then he does. things make him angry that i can't understand....like he got one ice cube instead of the 2 he wanted when he got his own ice and water, now he's mad. "i'm gonna throw this water!" and then he does. he typically laughs after doing something like this. he throws alot of food, alot of toys....
B.Try to reward positive behavior and do not reward negative behavior with attention even if it is negative like consequences. Lay on the rewards for postitive behavior ease up on the consequences for negative behavior or attention for negative behavior. Also my children responded well to physically reinacting desirable behavior. Basically goign through the scenary but then learning to make a different choice that is acceptable or desirable.
3. if i tell him no, for any reason, he will yell back at me things like, "YES I WILL, YES I CAN."
C.Time out in bedroom till he feels better and will appologize. Stay calm and do not reward him by getting upset or negative attention.
4. when i put him in the corner, or put him in his bed, or correct him for anything not using the word no, he laughs. he gets the biggest smile on his face, and then laughs..
D.Leave him till he is able to have acceptable behavior and appologize. With a small child you will need to time it and ofcourse can't leave him for more then minutes.
5. when he plays with children, he will, unprovoked, pick up toys and hit other children in the face and head with them, and then laugh. just for the record, this is not something he has even seen happen here.
E.Yup boy does that bring back bad memories. This type of behavior was actually the hardest for me as I also had other children. I would take DS away from the children he was playing with. He would stay with me or DH and color books or help us because children that can not play nice can not play with others till they play nice. Also reward, by mega positive praise, when he does show desirable behavior. Spend time being there and showing how to play with others in an appropriate manner. Also in fairness to other children, sibs and regular friends, I would hold DS with me or DH longer at times so they could have a more normal playtime.
6. he is very argumentative, in a way too logical way to be only 2. the dentist said to him today, "Eli, if you let me count your teeth, I will give you a sticker." and eli said, "you can not count my teeth, but you will give me a sticker." he talks like this alot. it kind of freaks me out.
**obviously, we have some issues here. i'm not the best parent, but i really have tried so much- removing him from the situation, rewarding him, talking to him, time in, time out, a 2nd nap, ignoring the behavior, blah blah blah...i guess i want to hear some really out of the box creative stuff that may have worked for you.
*Well you know this is not something that will go away. It might feel like you are not getting anywhere but just think if you did not do anything at all. It is a long road but over time, weeks, months, years there should be improvement. One thing I did not do enough or better said two is take time away from my child with or have him in a structured setting away from the whole family. I did not fully acknowledge /realize what a strain raising a child with issues like that cause on marriage and the other children in the family.
i'm getting more and more worried, especially now that he is also having sensory issues, and has tested positive for tb. i feel like he is having anxiety from so many new things he doesn't like and i just don't know how to calm him down....especially since he is not a cuddler and doesn't really like to be hugged. i feel awful for him, and i just want to help him feel ok AND not get in so much trouble, or think trouble is funny. help!
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