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The problem has risen in this new age when everyone thinks that kids should be told.
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Interesting comment - I wonder how we got to this 'new age'? Maybe we learned the 'old way' wasn't working?
Remember, adoption wasn't always the 'old way' - it wasn't until the 40's, 50's and 60's that adoption became a secret...prior to that, adoption was much as it was today (open and non-secret) - and it changed because one lady, who changed adoption from a social welfare practice to a lucrative business practice, needed a way to keep families from finding the children she'd illegally kidnapped and sold to adoptive families for what would now be in excess of $50K.
Clearly, that didn’t work and there are many social studies that support it. I am not talking about open adoption - I am talking about honesty in adoption.