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I agree with Leigh... While it's nice that you want to minimize her pain, it will be what it will be.
The best thing that you can to do to minimize her trauma is understand what you can commit to in terms of an OA, discuss it with her prior to TPR and come to an agreement, then commit to your OA and terms with JOY...
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Oceans
"You are never given a wish without being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however."
Illusions - The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
My Blog: http://roadtoreunion.wordpress.com//
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