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Hey guys, thanks for all your comments... they are very helpful.
Just wanted to clarify that I didn't mean the bmom is not a big in and of herself... of course she's a vital piece in the whole situation. What I meant was that it won't become an all consuming search to find her at age 18. I know all adoptees want to know more about her, even if they don't go looking. If they already know who she is then she won't be some hidden person shrouded in mystery who they may feel they've been denied access to all these years.
And further, of course I won't understand the pain, nor can I, but I want to do whatever I can to minimize the trauma or to help.
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