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pros:
1. takes out the mystery and furious searching in the teenage or early adult years. bmom will be a known entity, not a big deal any more.
may still be a big deal, you never know
2. could make it quicker getting a baby.
do not use this to get a child. The dangle a carrot to get the horse to move image is coming up and then you pull the carrot away. What then?
3. might help bmom with the pain she will go through after giving up the baby.
My pain is my pain and not for L to help me go through. Noone knows this pain.
4. The more people around to love the baby, the better imo.
Always a wonderful thing
cons:
1. I don't want to compete with her. I hope I'm mature enough not to run into that or thinking about it but sometimes I wonder.
I don't compete with L. She is Mom. No ifs ands or buts about that.
2. Not sure I want her to be able to pop in at any time. Also, what if, after a period of time, she decides she wants to get the child back by illegal means or has other harmful ideas and now she knows where I live. I know this is probably highly unlikely - maybe I've watched too much tv.
This is from tv. I cannot "pop" up when ever I want. I stick with the visits. You have more of a chance of an ex spouse taking the child then you do of a firstmom doing it.
3. what happens when the child says he doesn't want to take out the garbage and then you get "I hate you! I'm just going to go live with my REAL mom!" In fact the child could actually run away to go live with her. Hopefully someone I raise wouldn't do that but hey teenagers can be unpredictable.
If you have a good relationship with the firstmother then this won't happen. If Supergirl ever appeared at my door saying that she ran away. The first person I would call would be L. I remember yelling at my Mother that I was going to find my real family because there was noway I was related to them. I am not adopted, just said in the heat of the moment.
4. could actually hurt bmom if she has difficulty letting go of the mom role and it continues to make her feel bad.
I go through pain but when I see Supergirl and her pictures there is no pain. My pain is not for L to bear.
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