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Old 06-05-2008, 03:48 PM
Oceans Oceans is offline
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Startedover as a bmom you didn't offend me at all. I think "better off" is common adoption language to be honest with you and for whatever reason is on the top 10 list of bmoms. But I agree strongly with TG:
Quote:
I think I think that there's a difference between the perception that your children will be better off and the reality of if your child will ACTUALLY be better off.
And my original thought of we will never know.

To me it's not about better it's about different. When I look back on my choice to place, I realize now that there was no right or wrong choice. It was just a choice. Things have turned out the way they did b/c I chose adoption. Things would have been fine had I chose to parent - different, but fine. Yeah... we would have struggled but we would have made it. In the short term, my son had better clothes and a more comfortable crib than I could have provided - probably more parent time as well since I would have been a single working teen mom.

So better off short term... probably. Long term, who knows. But I say that with 26 years of having placed behind me. I can see long term today. I couldn't back then.

Hopefully that makes sense...
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Oceans

"You are never given a wish without being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however."
Illusions - The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

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