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Thank you for all your replies! I am taking them all to heart. I definitely always do that "sliding doors" thing....what would life have been if...(not just re: DD, but about other stuff). I need to stop, cuz it's kind of unproductive! I think perhaps the most powerful thing I have ever read on this forum was from an adoptee who said, "you can't lead parallel lives, just the one you have." So in effect I just have to be the best parent I can be without "comparing" myself to anyone else.
Stormster, you are right about some of these feelings probably coming up to assuage the "guilt" I have (which I know I shouldn't have either). Lovemy2boys, DD's birth mom is like AJ's....she always explains to me why SHE thinks DD is doing so well and why she doesn't think she would have been a good parent at the time (based on some really tough extraneous situations). I always "fight" her on that, but maybe I'm just like wondering if it is OK to embrace it, since SHE feels that way, you know? I don't know.
I feel like Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy!!!
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