[loveajax]

One thing that has been "bothering" me lately is that I totally have learned so much from this whole site, etc. and yet sometimes I think it "skews" my own feelings about the adoption of DD.

We have a fairly open adoption relationship with DD's birth parents (we recently had a visit). DD's birth mom has said to me several times that she knows she would not have been a good parent to DD at the time she was placed, and, though things are better now, she knows she made the right decision. I also know how hard the whole experience has been on her (and DD's bdad too, though he, like many men (!), does not really express his feelings).

Many times I say (and believe) that no one knows how anything "would have been." Yet lately I feel strongly (esp. after seeing how DD's parents are with their daughters) that DD is thriving in a way that would not be possible if she was raised by them. Is it "OK" to embrace that? I sometimes think that if I say things like this, I am being unPC. But I truly believe that is the truth.

Is it "OK" to believe that you are "meant' to be the parents of your child?

I have a lot of "guilt" in my life, but one thing I strive for is for DD never to feel anything but my unconditional love....I "worry" sometimes that I fret too much about "adoption issues." And frankly, I don't see any with her (yet) and I worry if I am focusing too much on the whole "adoption" thing.

I am not sure why I am posting this, but I don't have a blog....!!

Btw, I am not saying that every kid that is placed has a "better life" or anything of that sort. But I'm just wondering if it is OK to feel that they do (if they do).