Okay... I had to chime in on this one...
JD is a relative of mine and I live in Maine. JD was in foster care in NJ.
I was also a liscensed foster parent at the time the ICPC was started. In my case, it sped things up GREATLY. The ICPC paperwork was officially sent to Maine in May and approved by Maine in July. JD was moved to me on August 1. We will hopefully be finalizing his adoption by the end of this summer.
I was (and stll am) in constant contact with JDs fmom prior to and during the ICPC process. His Fmom hosted visitations and even allowed me to stay in her home while I was visiting JD. She was an awesome inspiration. She had JD for the first 3 years of his life and told me that deep down she loved him, but felt that since he had family that could and wanted to take care of him, she felt that was where he needed to be. And, no, I did not "come out of the woodwork" as some might think. It took me 3 years of battling MY OWN FAMILY to get to where I am today... with my soon to be son...
His fmom remains an active part of his life. When JD was placed on August 1, we went back to her home in NJ on August 22 to have a proper goodbye visit. She had invited all of her extended family and everyone that had loved and cared for JD for those first years of his life... it was a great thing. We will be going down to NJ to visit her and her family from June 29 - July 3. We are looking forward to it.
Oh, and in my case, my cousin also lost 3 children before JD. They are with their grandmother.
Please go into this with your heart and mind open to all possibilities.
In the long run, you will be glad you did... in my case, I ended up with a whole lot more family to lean on for support. I can call Miss Z for anything...
Committedsoul