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Hey All,
For three days I've thought about adding to this thread...I've even consulted with some people in here as to getting the courage to write and even if I should.
That's because I'm sort of scared. As another member put it, there's a lot of blackbelts in here...women who've been in the trenches of all this for quite a while.
And here I am...Janey...a kindergartner among the 8th degree blackbelts...just learning how to tie the sash on my ghi.
Still I finally decided to add my voice to this thread because I felt that it was something I needed to share and because if I don't learn to trust you guys I won't learn to trust myself. So here goes........
This thread struck me in 2 ways.
1. As women, we still have so far to go. I have married friends who bought rings when they were expecting because their hands swelled so badly they couldn't wear their weddings rings anymore. They put those new rings on their swollen left ring fingers so that people would know they were married and pregnant. They were terrified of judgement...of that look...you know the one........ It made me feel so bad for us all as women. I mean what century are we in now? The 21st? Sometimes I swear it feels like the 13th.
2. I thought long and hard about the woman who left her card and number. And this is what I'd like to say about her.....
Yes what she did was deplorable BUT I find that I can only feel pity for her. I ask myself, if I were told that I could never have children and I pursued every avenue and every avenue was closed, all hope of having children gone, all doors slammed shut....watching from the sidelines as other women felt the joy of that first kick...the flutter of that heartbeat....the ultrasounds...the babyshowers...the excitement of loved ones. If I had to watch other women be blessed with that and I could have none of it, could that drive me insane? Could I become so desparate for a child that I lost all my self-respect and all sense of decorum with others...finally reaching the point where I was just this walking, talking zombie thing that other people ran from out of disgust or fright.
By the grace of God, I have never be in that position even so I would hope that my answer would be a resounding NO! I would never commit such a terrible error in judgement! But who knows what I would be if I lost all my hope.
Please understand, truly, I am not condoning this woman's actions. I am just offering up another take on it.
Because as women it is too easy to turn on each other and become our own worst enemies.
Praying you guys won't think less of me now. Honestly, I don't think I could take it. You are the only place I feel safe today.
Janey
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