[blessedbybug]

I am sure that was hard to hear. Has he had any other experience with adoption? Do you think he really meant it to be how you understood it? I just say this because it was a huge relief when I finally came to terms with the fact that not everybody lives adoption every day. Instead of me living upset and/or offended, I could use my energy to help those I love, who love me and who love my children understand some of the nuances of speaking about adoption.

And although words are powerful, they don't alway mean the same thing to all of us when they say them. I can imagine my Dad saying the same thing only because he is excited about the fact that very soon, our child will have the same last name and the journey to bringing him/her into the family, an often stressful experience, is coming to an end and indeed, the child is fully our child. Because it is truth, and although your child might feel all yours from the moment she was placed in your arms, for our other family members, it may not seem as "real". My family lives far away and in another country so my parents didn't meet my children til weeks and/or months after they were born. My parents loved them from the start but both said it didn't become real to them (because they had guarded their hearts for us for so long too... it was a long journey) until they held THEIR grandchildren in their arms.

If it were me, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. He may be trying to find ways to express how he is feeling in light of your whole experience. Unless of course this is one in a series of comments that have made you uncomfortable... the yes, a conversation about how you feel about what he has said would be in order.

Blessings to your family...