[tomandcate]

I am trying to check my reaction and need some input.

Quick background - my 3.5 year old DS is friends with our next door neighbor boys, who are 5 and 8/9. He mostly plays with the 5 y.o. but once in a while the older brother plays with them too. The 5 y.o. is a "boy's boy" - rough and tumble. He is my DS's only older friend and DS loves him to death. The 8/9 y.o. is a little shy, not quite as "tough" as his little brother.

Anyway, today the three were out in our playroom, and as I passed by the door I heard "Kiss me Sam." It sounded like the younger brother but I'm not sure. So I stood and watched, and the older brother went up to Sam and whispered to him, "Hey Sam, kiss me right here" and pointed to his cheek. Sam, sweet little thing that he is, complied instantly, and that was that.

My DH was sitting in the same room I was watching this from, and I told him what I'd just seen. We both thought it was a little odd for an 8/9 y.o. to be asking for a kiss from a much younger boy.

Is that weird? Should I be concerned? I hate that I have to even go there, but it's not like we don't hear about older boys "messing" with younger boys.

After they left I asked Sam if J. (older one) had asked him for a kiss and he said yes. Then he said that G. (younger one) had asked for a kiss also. If I didn't know what I know about their family (these kids get yelled at a lot by their evil stepfather, with whom they live 100% of the time) I would think hey, maybe they're just a "kissy" family like we are, and it's pouring over into their friendships. But that's definitely not the case, and I still don't think it's "normal" for the 8/9 age range. My mind starts to wander...what if this kid has feelings for boys...what if he and his brother make jokes about being gay and this is a joke to them...etc.

Thanks in advance for your opinions and advice! I don't know if I should be concerned or just "watchful" but I do know one thing - I don't feel this would not be enough cause for me to talk to his mother about it. I've already had the talk to Sam about other people touching his privates and wonder if I need to extend the conversation to any contact he doesn't want to have...but I don't want to overreact with him and unnecessarily take away some of his sweetness and innocence yet!

Cate