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Just Peachy~Thank you! I needed a good kick in the butt! I am tired of being a door mat. I don't want my son to grow up thinking it's ok to be a user. That is exactly what they are.
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I was worried after re-reading my post that I came off too harsh! I know I got worked up, but I just hate to see people taken advantage of. The situation just sounded so unfair to not only you, but your husband and children--and it truly is. You are doing so much and really stepping to the plate with all this. I admire your courage, actually, as I don't know if I could do all you are doing if I were in the situation.
Just stay strong, and don't let your step son and his girlfriend manipulate you. They are still teenagers, so they will be likely pulling out all the stops with regard to guilt trips, angry outbursts and using the kid(s) to get you to do stuff for them. Sit down and get very clear about what you want the boundaries to be. Maybe write them down, you and your husband, and make sure it only involves what you are comfortable doing/giving. You know your limitations. Then sit down with them and give them the written agreement. If you need to get CPS or law enforcement involved, so be it. They can choose a different path and avoid that entirely, but they need to know there will be consequences if they disrupt your life, threaten you, put their child in an abusive or neglectful situation, etc.