[Devora]

I think you're doing the right thing. For your daughter, you're not "overcompensating" -- you're doing exactly what you need to do. This is the reassurance she needs right now. She's only 2 so she's not going to understand anything more. You certainly can be talking with her about adoption in the sense of telling her story to her in simple terms. We did this with our son from the time he came home at 8 months. But while he proudly says now that he's adopted and he can identify photos of his mother and says it's his mother in Guatemala, the fact is that at this age they don't really understand what that means -- as evidenced by the fact that the last time I asked my son what being adopted means he said it meant that he was getting bigger! But talking with them about their story (at this age, just in terms of the facts of having two sets of parents and a family in Guatemala who also love her) is a good thing because that way there's never a time when the don't know they're adopted. Their understanding can grow as they grow, develop, you start adding more details, and they start asking questions. But for now, "Yes, I'm your mommy. I'll be your mommy forever and I love you!" is exactly what she needs to hear.

As for the daycare, I think suggesting some books for them to read with the kids is a good idea. I would just be sure to caution them that you don't want them pointing out that R is adopted and making her the focus of the discussion. (For all you know, there are other adopted kids there, too.) But books about lots of different kinds of families and about adoption can be good.

For toddlers some suggestions:
The Family Book by Todd Parr
It's Okay to Be Different by Todd Parr
A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza

For the 3-5 year old set, the above plus:
Over the Moon by ??? (it's in my son's room and he's asleep)
We Wanted You by ??? (also in my son's room, but I think the author's last name is Rosenberg; the illustrator is Peter Catalanato, I think)

I can't recall some of the adoption books that are China-focused but there are a bunch of them. One is I Love You Like Crazy Cakes -- I read it once and wasn't wowed by it, but I know it's a popular one. There are others.