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Keep in mind that I've never had any challange so hard or seen behavioral issues so hard to deal with, as I have seen in kids with attachment issues ages 2-5 yrs old.
The 3-4 years are already the hardest to deal with behaviorally in a "normal" kid (I've heard)..and it's the age to find boundaries and push your buttons....and you magnify that stress with the attachment issues and it's like the worst nightmare version of a 3 yr old you can imagine...even hollywood couldn't come up with this stuff...
The good news is she won't be 3,4,5 forever and if you can see ANY progress even a little, I'd say there's hope for her to heal at least partially.
My dd was the AD 3 yr old when she came to us....loads of anger that she just had no clue how to handle. Right now (this month) at age 7, she's the most delightful, well behaved child you've ever seen...but when she regresses (it happens) MAN does she have some doozy of a meltdown complete with behaviors we don't see for months on end.
The good news is, if you're consistant in your boundaries (think drill sargent) she'll quit testing as much and you can start to focus on the attachment building stuff. You've just gotta prove you're tougher and smarter than her....then she'll feel safe enough trusting you.
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