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I'm not familiar with Cantu products, but it sounds like you're taking good care of her hair. Although, is there any way you can wash her hair less (like once a week)? I'm wondering if washing it too often is drying it out? I saw a product on the Today Show today that was a no rinse shampoo for babies, to use in between regular shampoos. I think it was called High Chair Hair, to be used when babies get food in their hair. Of course I know nothing about this product, so don't know if it's worth buying.
By the way, I think that other parent at the daycare was rude and you should not give her a second thought.
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