I'm really in need of some help with this situation. I opened the doors of "letter writing" communication with *A's* bio mom shortly after the new year. I thought it would be nice to be able to let her know how *A's* doing, her favorite things, newest achievements, etc. and she seemed to appreciate it. However since then she seems to write me at least once a month to tell me all her concerns & to ask me for things.
Examples:
"Why isn't *A* walking yet?" (when she was 11mos old)
"Please send me a can of formula so CPS will let me start my unsupervised visits?" (uhhh no, you have to prove you can provide that yourself)
"Why do they have to sedate her for an EEG and how do they plan to do this?" (She was 13 months old & needed to be able to hold completely still for the entire test)
Anyways, the latest thing is that she has written me wanting the next dates & times of *A's* Doctors appointments because she wants to attend, and she gave me her number and has requested mine so she can call to talk to *A* on the weekends. She's barely 14mos old, she barely knows how to hold a phone let alone listen or talk on it! So this is really not an age appropriate request.
I told the CW "No". All of this makes me terribly uncomfortable and asked her whether bio mom wanted to go to the appointments to support *A* as her mother or to fight with the doctor over the recent diagnosis's that *A* received of Epilepsy & FAS? The CW thinks the mom most likely just wants to fight the doctor, but isn't really sure of her intentions and said we did not need to let her come as we have a right to our own confidentiality.
I am now seriously considering stopping the lines of letter writing communication because I feel like she keeps trying to put me in very awkward positions where I end up being just another person saying "No" to her. I hate being that person, but her needs are not my priority, only *A's* needs. Yet I feel like I have an obligation to respond to her letter with these requests and I simply cannot think of a neutral sounding way to say "No" which is making me consider just ignoring it completely and letting the CW give her an answer. I feel like I've opened a can of worms that I can't put away again
I simply wanted to be compassionate and let her know how her daughter was doing with a monthly update or something and she doesn't even care. It's just all about what I can do for her. Does that make sense?